I have just been so very busy lately but I have been keeping track of my pulling. I pull at least 3-4 hairs a day. We watched the Alien movie,I think it was the last one, Resurrection, today. I found myself getting a little tense so I crossed my fingers. I did pretty well through it.
I continue to have crushing fatigue...I think it's just menopause (fun fun)..but going to the doctor later this month so we'll see.
I have a lot to get done and I almost feel like throwing in the towel on my home business - not because it's not doing well, but because it's doing so well yet I don't have any time to do the work. Add to that the zero respect that my home business GETS...even though I have grown it in 7 years to be very busy, it is disrespected.
But sometimes the fact that it's getting no respect at home makes me want to do MORE with it, sort of a 'screw it, I'll show YOU' approach to life that often drives me to excel. My home business is personally very important to me, and it's an art/craft that also helps me fight pulling my hair.
If I just had more TIME I'd do fine, and perhaps when my youngest two are in school I'll find the time and peace and quiet I need
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Sunday, July 8, 2007
HPC: 0
My PMT is off the chart today. I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin! My oldest daughter is driving me nuts. She has only played on the computer all day today and I had to nag her over and over to do the dishes. Just the dishes, and we have a dishwashing machine...it's not even by hand! Oh the attitude a 13 year old can give off. I have had to punish her backtalking and balkiness by banning her from the computer for the next two days. She gets into that Disney Virtual Magic Kingdom and she seems to relate more to the virtual world than the real world. Well sorry, in the real world we have dirty dishes. Life ain't fair, deal with it.
I told myself this morning that I was going to have a pull free day no matter what, and so far I have succeeded. I caught myself running my fingers over my eyes and I stopped. No matter how aggravating my kid(s) can be or how aggravated I get, I am not going to pull today. Just one pull free day, and then another pull free day, and then just another pull free day...one day at a time, that's the goal.
My PMT is off the chart today. I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin! My oldest daughter is driving me nuts. She has only played on the computer all day today and I had to nag her over and over to do the dishes. Just the dishes, and we have a dishwashing machine...it's not even by hand! Oh the attitude a 13 year old can give off. I have had to punish her backtalking and balkiness by banning her from the computer for the next two days. She gets into that Disney Virtual Magic Kingdom and she seems to relate more to the virtual world than the real world. Well sorry, in the real world we have dirty dishes. Life ain't fair, deal with it.
I told myself this morning that I was going to have a pull free day no matter what, and so far I have succeeded. I caught myself running my fingers over my eyes and I stopped. No matter how aggravating my kid(s) can be or how aggravated I get, I am not going to pull today. Just one pull free day, and then another pull free day, and then just another pull free day...one day at a time, that's the goal.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
HPC: 5
Pulled some hairs ... 3-4 from my right eye, 1 right eyebrow hair tonight after trying unsuccessfully to help my daughter with her math work. I think trying to help her just pointed out my ineptitude and brought back my feelings of failure from math phobia. At age 13, she's already beyond my math ability but she's also reached her own ceiling of ability. The workbook we have sucks at explaining stuff.
Upon more thought, my HPC (Hair Pulling Count) idea is a little wrong, because a person can do one hard pull and a bunch of hairs will come out. So statistically it is semi useless information. But it would be difficult to count how many times I start to pull. Hard to tell what would count - just brushing across my eyebrow area...would that count?!? Know what I mean? So I'll just keep with the HPC idea for now.
My birthday was 'okay.' Nothing to write home about, but it was okay. I made my own birthday cake...it was good, but how pathetic that I had to make my own birthday cake. I don't really feel 42. Mentally I feel younger, but body-wise I feel about 62. I am so totally PMS'ing it's not even funny. My two youngest kids really drove me over the edge, although they were just being their normal selves...the stress of an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old just gets the better of me sometimes.
I would also like dh to step in and take over more of their care, even if just for an hour of my birthday, would it be too much to ask?!? My problem is that I don't ask and I should. Inside, I feel like it should be obvious that I need help like that. But apparently it isn't. The funny thing is that my dh told me the other night, "I don't know how you stand it all day long." That was the first time it was acknowledged that it is hard to stay at home with the kids (I also work from home) and that I don't sit on my rear eating bon bons all day. So you'd think it would be overtly obvious that I could use an hour to myself, at least on my birthday. Doy.
Pulled some hairs ... 3-4 from my right eye, 1 right eyebrow hair tonight after trying unsuccessfully to help my daughter with her math work. I think trying to help her just pointed out my ineptitude and brought back my feelings of failure from math phobia. At age 13, she's already beyond my math ability but she's also reached her own ceiling of ability. The workbook we have sucks at explaining stuff.
Upon more thought, my HPC (Hair Pulling Count) idea is a little wrong, because a person can do one hard pull and a bunch of hairs will come out. So statistically it is semi useless information. But it would be difficult to count how many times I start to pull. Hard to tell what would count - just brushing across my eyebrow area...would that count?!? Know what I mean? So I'll just keep with the HPC idea for now.
My birthday was 'okay.' Nothing to write home about, but it was okay. I made my own birthday cake...it was good, but how pathetic that I had to make my own birthday cake. I don't really feel 42. Mentally I feel younger, but body-wise I feel about 62. I am so totally PMS'ing it's not even funny. My two youngest kids really drove me over the edge, although they were just being their normal selves...the stress of an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old just gets the better of me sometimes.
I would also like dh to step in and take over more of their care, even if just for an hour of my birthday, would it be too much to ask?!? My problem is that I don't ask and I should. Inside, I feel like it should be obvious that I need help like that. But apparently it isn't. The funny thing is that my dh told me the other night, "I don't know how you stand it all day long." That was the first time it was acknowledged that it is hard to stay at home with the kids (I also work from home) and that I don't sit on my rear eating bon bons all day. So you'd think it would be overtly obvious that I could use an hour to myself, at least on my birthday. Doy.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Look deep into my eyes...
Look deep into my eyes...you will not pull your hair, you will not pull your hair...and you will especially not enjoy your private parts in public, even if it is a porn movie house....Happy Birthday to me, I wanna be pull free!
It's officially my 42nd birthday. YAY ME! LOL
And yes, I do look just like this.
(falls down, laughing)
And yes, I do look just like this.
(falls down, laughing)
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